Well, it's almost 1 am. Why am I up? Because my husband just got called in to work. That means somewhere in the world .....could be Iraq, could be Ohio...... a soldier has died. So Z has to go into work to start the process of informing the family. It's the nightmare that every relative of a soldier lives with. We never want to see an officer in uniform with a chaplain knocking on our door. When I think about all of the things he has to take care of and the considerations for the families..... I am amazed that he isn't a wreck! All he thinks about is that the family gets every consideration and assistance and that the soldier is honored in every way.
It's a funny coincidence that the sermon for church today was about living each day as if it was your last. Living to your spiritual fullness. I think back on my day today and remember stomping on the invisible brake on the passenger side of the van (because Z thinks he's a Formula 1 race car driver), and how he grilled up some of the best burgers and corn on the cob for dinner, and how we are lying in bed (pre-bad news phone call) and the last thing he says to me is ....... "I have a myth for the Mythbusters show to try out".
I may complain about the invisible force field around our hamper (that prevents his clothes from making it into the hamper rather than at the foot of the hamper), and about his heart-stopping driving, and how he is just a big mush the second that our youngest gives him the puppy dog eyes to get doughnuts at church......... but I can't imagine what that family will feel when they get that visit at their door. I know it's a possibility, but I thank God every day for my husband. For his political zeal. For his ability to get over being angry after 5 minutes. For his Scooby-Doo laugh. For his enjoyment of watching cheesy movies with me. For his encouragement of the whole family getting fit. For his big heart. For his quest to always better himself. For his always putting others before himself.
I love you Z and I can't imagine how dark and awful my life would have been without you.