How did I get here?

Have you ever looked around at your life and wondered "How did I get here?" Not here, but HERE? Every time I find an old friend on FaceBook or Classmates.com and we start to exchange stories of where we are now, they seem amazed at my life. Sometimes I am too!

These conversations eventually end with "I never would have pictured you as a mom (or stay at home mom or insert description of an unpaid, slightly insane, maid, taxi driver, nurse, counselor, mediator, boxing referee, and laundry attendant to 3 boys and a husband)!" I am not an A type personality. I do like organization, and I do have goals for my life (somewhat) but I did not follow any type of plan to get where I am now. Thus, the HOW part of the question. I talk to some people and see their path has been planned and well ordered. I talk to others and their path rambles a bit, but with a bit of a delay, they still reached their wanted destination. Just a little sight-seeing on the way. My path seems to be a mix of a National Lampoon's Vacation movie, meets It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World movie, meets a Will & Grace story line with the dangers of the fireswamp out of the Princess Bride movie sprinkled liberally about!

Now, this question can be asked in differing tones. There is the sad tone where the person is asking themselves what bad karma they earned to be where they are. There is the angry tone that when it is heard, chocolate should be administered to this person IMMEDIATELY!!!! There is the bewildered tone where the person wonders if they are dreaming all of this or where they are in a state of shock. Chocolate should also be administered right away. Then there is the wailing tone that can be heard for miles and is usually an indication that that woman has just picked up toys from the same room 5 times in the past 3 hours and/ or she has just had "Mount Wash-more" collapse upon her and she needs rescue.... and chocolate....lots of chocolate. I am usually the last tone. Because as I lay there slowly being crushed to death under dirty play clothes, karate gi's and army uniforms I find thoughts of past goals going through my head..... for example....."I wanted to be in the fashion industry!" Or "I should have pursued the acting career goal". Then followed by the inevitable... "there has to be a military boarding school that will take all three of them!"

But I digress....

I know what you are thinking... you are either thinking "what is she complaining about???" or you are thinking I heard the Talking Heads song, "Once In a Lifetime". I promise I am not complaining. Or the song. But as my birthday comes barreling at me as fast as a shark goes after it's prey, I tend to think of these things. I know I know... you are thinking, "she's only..ahem....25 (again, just like every year)...why is she thinking like this?" Well, when I notice that time is passing by more quickly every year, it tends to make me sit back and wonder... I am not truly complaining about the HOW because I wouldn't be the strong person I am today without my crazy journey here. I truly feel like I can teach my children strength by showing them the strength that I have.

Do I wish I did some things differently? Sure! Finish college for one. But I can't help that think this crazy trip of mine is the path that God set me on for a purpose. The crazy chance decisions that my hubby and I made in our lives just happened to intersect at this one place and one point in time to start our parallel journey together. The chances of us meeting were astronomical and yet we did. I met the person who was meant for me. I truly believe it. I find myself asking another question now...."Where will I go from here?"..

As my kids are now all in elementary school and I work part-time, I try to think of a career that I would love to do. I am lucky enough that my hubby's salary is enough that I am not feeling rushed to figure out my future steps in this crazy path of mine. I still enjoy being able to meet my boys at the bus stop and having all of them try to out shout each other to be the first to tell me about his day. As we walk back to the house (that I love) listening to discussions about recess and math and conduct marks (hopefully not), I realize that of all of the futures I would have and could have chosen for myself, this was the least likely but it is the best job I have ever had. And probably ever will. So whatever crazy path brought me here, I may not like the laundry involved, or the stepping on toys in the middle of the night, but I sure am where I am supposed to be and God willing, the journey will get even better from here.

I have survived!

I survived 6 days in an RV with 3 boys, a hubby and a 9 month old dog! We all made it back in one piece (maybe a little more scraped up and bruised than usual), and so did the RV! I kept up running commentary on my facebook page because the laptop was home but I promise that this week I will blog about my best vacation EVER!!!
Hugs to you all!

Winter

Close up of all the beading on the Winter Lady.

The Winter Cross Stitch

This is the winter cross stitch. I started the spring one, but then my carpal tunnel symptoms started, so here it is, the end of summer, and spring isn't finished.... sigh...

Healing Laughter

I know I know.... I wanted a girl.. Just one! I wanted a pretty little tough mama who would wrap Daddy around her finger. But I have to say...boys are pretty funny! Like how they had a conversation with dad ... more like a debate... on what to call the "family jewels". I was reading in my room ...(aka escaping the testosterone) and I hear words being offered up like "stones!", no, no, no, "toolbag", no, "strawberries", nah, "balls", no, mom doesn't like that one (I was unaware that I was so sensitive), "nuts", no everyone uses that one and mom again (huh? again, I was unaware).... the debate was extensive. The final result was.....(insert drum roll here).... LEMONS! So now on a daily basis I hear "Mom, Zoltan kicked me in the lemons!" "Hey Zander, you almost elbowed me in the lemons!" or best yet...the 5 year old coming down the stairs holding his aforementioned fruit, walking like an old man and saying to me in a very dramatic, strangled voice, "Mom, we were wrestling and my lemons got hurt!" I said you can always use a boo-boo buddy on them if it will make them feel better. Next thing I know he whirls around and yells upstairs "Hey mom said I can use a boo-boo buddy on them!" He then runs to the kitchen. Next thing I know there is an elephant stampede down the stairs (aka boys racing each other down our stairs) and they all have injured lemons and want to try the boo-boo buddy. For the non-parent friends who read this, a boo-boo buddy is a kiddy ice pack usually encased in some fabric to make it not so cold. Ours is used almost every day! It's a teddy bear head with some freezable stuff inside and is kept in the door of our freezer within kid reach. My aunt Deen gave it to me the first time I was pregnant and it has been so helpful!!! So I peek my head around the corner and I see all of the boys first try the bbb over the shorts. Then they all have a discussion as to whether it is meant to be used WITHOUT the shorts. So they call to me (thinking I am in the other room giving them privacy and not being so incredibly nosy) and say" should we keep our shorts on?" I proceeded to run back to the living room with my hand over my mouth to keep the hysterical giggles from being heard and I reply "it's up to you! The cold is supposed to make owies feel better so if you can't feel the cold on where you hurt, then it won't help you". I gave it about 20 seconds before tip-toeing back to my corner to peek around and I swear it was hysterical! I wish I took a picture! All 3 boys with their shorts around their ankles saying to each other "you try it first, no you try it, you were the one who went to mom so you go first!" So the oldest finally says "ok, I'll try it. He puts the bbb up against the "injured fruit" for about 5 seconds and then says "it just feels cold!" A couple more seconds..."Too cold!" Immediately his brothers yank their pants up unwilling to follow his brave example. They put the bbb back and as they are walking out of the kitchen I am back at my place in the living room. They walk upstairs and are having a conversation about how to warm up Zoltan's chilly lemons. I start to hear words like "blanket", and "exercise" and I wonder if I should go upstairs to eavesdrop on that potentially funny conversation. So while I don't have a beautiful little girl to dress in purple and teach how to sew and how to fight, I'll just have to be satisfied with our puppy who has daddy wrapped around her paw and lets me put purple collars with rhinestones (ahem...bling) on her.

Slacker Extraordinaire Part Dos!

I tease a friend of mine about being a slacker because she doesn't call me back when she says she will and because of her laid-back personality... but I believe I deserve the ultimate slacker award. I have slacked off on this blog to the point that my friends say "oh yeah, I forgot you have a blog!" Totally understandable! Oh and I am the queen of excuses.... "my wrist hurts (impending tendinitis or carpal tunnel, won't know until next month... gotta love socialized medicine AKA Army medicine) too much to type", "I'm too busy teaching Vacation Bible School (a class of 3rd graders... oye!)", " the weather is too hot", (what that has to do with not blogging, I don't know, I just know it's one of my mainstay excuses!), etc... In addition to this, I have this uncertainty in my life that affects all that I do (or rather, don't do). I KNOW it's a year away, but these 2 years here in San Antonio have zoomed past rather quickly. See, I am excited and scared about the future. I have already blogged about how with all 3 of my kids in school this year, now I am supposed to concentrate on me and my goals. Which goals? Which are realistic for an army wife? Which ideas for a career would make me happy? But then there is next summer where everything changes.

Next summer our tour here is up. Now as an Active Duty Reservist, Z (the hubby) can go through a list of open positions for captains of his qualifications and pick a job and if he is accepted, we will PCS (permanent change of station) move there. He has been offered time and time again a position with regular (non-reserves) army by a guy he has seen in the strangest of places and very coincidentally. This post would be in Germany. I have NEVER been off the continental US.... does going to the Florida Keys count? I don't have the knowledge or experience of traveling in other countries or cultures let alone to move to one. I know we would be living on base, but let's face it people, I would never just hang out on base when I would be living in a country that has castles to tour and explore and is surrounded by more countries with castles to tour and explore! But again, it is yet another thing in my life that I have no experience with. So thus the terror and excitement both lodged in my brain!

All I want out of life is to be a better mother to my kids and to have time to spend with my hubby alone... otherwise my mind is open to new experiences. I just wish they weren't hitting all at once! I read about my friends from school with their careers or even going back to school and they all seem like their goals are so clear cut! Then I read about my mommy friends (on facebook, where else?) whose preschoolers are moving on to elementary school, like mine, and who are going back to careers they had prior to children, or are going back to school for new ones. How is it that I am so lackluster about career listings? I love reading... maybe I should be a book editor? How does one go about getting this job? I love history... should I teach it? Write about it? If I teach it, what age do I teach it to? I have no patience with attitude problems in kids... mine or other people's... just ask the kids from the bible study I volunteered in last school year. I was known as "the mean lady" because I wouldn't let them disrespect their teachers in front of me and I demanded the use of manners as well. My Dad wants me to go into nursing. I know a lot of people in nursing or in school for becoming a nurse. My Dad wants this because it is a field that is desperate for people, they are giving good hiring bonuses and he says I have the compassion for it. OK, so which kind of nursing? Hospice? Pediatrics? Hospital? ER?

I think my biggest issue is that nothing jumps out at me. So decisions, decisions....

Ok. I call a friend of mine "Slacker" but I most certainly have earned the title. Summer is here and tomorrow is the last day of my big kids' school. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I love my kids but we get along better when someone else is in charge of their day to day entertainment! My oldest is a wonderful, artistic, sensitive little man. But when he spends time with his brothers he turns into an impatient, bullying, snothead! My middle child is the epitome of middle children! He is affectionate, loving, needy, and clingy. He turns into a bully and a mega whiner when he's around his brothers for too much time. The "baby who no longer is one" is a maniac. He is hyper, fearless, whiny, and a mega troublemaker! And I have all summer with them!!! I will be signing them up for EVERY SINGLE vacation bible school in the local area! I do also have pool, library and museum plans. Hopefully we will all survive. I can now stop wearing my tendonitis wrist braces so hopefully I will be online more often. God bless all!

Gotta boast about the Pinewood Derby!

With the army keeping my husband hostage in the office, he had to work on the derby cars in fits and starts. He not only finished them but made an extra for a boy in the Tiger den who didn't have anyone to make one for him. Our Tiger cub got first place and the second car made for a boy in the Tiger den got second place. Our Bear cub got third place and our 4 year old got first place in the siblings race.

Our Bear cub's car came out looking like a long pick up truck and he painted the whole thing himself.

Our Tiger cub's car was painted like a shark. He did all of it except the teeth. I did those.

Our 4 year old's car was painted white by daddy and he did the blue splotches. "Stripes mama, those are stripes".

The 4th car done for the other Tiger cub came out long and rectangular and so I painted it like a school bus. He loved it and it got voted 2nd best in the creative car category. He was so proud of both of his trophies!

This is an up close detail of the beading on this piece. This is the first cross stitch I have done with beading.

This my most recent FINISHED cross stitch. I was hoping to finish it DURING autumn, but I finished it December 5th. I am now working on winter, but I am no where near finished. I had started it and then the boys put grubby fingerprints ALL OVER it and I was so upset that I put it away. I tried using Spray N Wash with Resolve in it and then I washed it with Ivory liquid soap and it came completely out! So I started working on it again but I am VERY far behind.

This is a cross stitch I did to improve my skills and work my way up to a Teresa Wentzler pattern. As I was working on it, my friend Laura seemed to be on my heart alot. She was going through a rough spot in her life and when I worked on the angel, I seemed to think and pray about her. I decided God was telling me that she needed to have this, so when I finished it, I fussed and stressed about picking the right frame that she would like (I took about 2 months to fret over this). She said she really likes it and I am proud of how it came out.

This is what they look a little further away. I should mention that the kids stamped their own cards this year too! My heart stamps are a mess thanks to my oldest, but it was fun! I'm glad I had a bunch of butcher paper and thought to tape it to the counter top, because otherwise my new crafting counter would be a mess!

This is what I made for my boys' teachers. I used my new Cricut machine and cut out the flowers in all different sizes and in two shapes: shadow (the thicker flower pieces) and sillouette (the thin flower pieces). I painted some shish-kebab skewers in green acrylic paint and glued the flowers in layers on the "stems". I then took a sticky "jewel" and put it in the center. I used Hershey's kisses, milk and dark chocolate, to hold the flowers in place.

Wow almost two months with no blogging! I'm a slacker...sigh.... I know it! The holidays just put me through the ringer and then when we got home from a great trip to Big Bear Cali, my computer died! I know excuses, excuses. Then add a budding addiction to facebook games and being able talk with old friends through facebook, and that's why I have neglected the blog. I promise to do a full blogging tonight or tomorrow....or soon. I just need to go do some valentines cards for the preschooler. Then I need to make the teachers' valentines gifts! Plus I want to make a card for an aunt who is getting married. So I will have to step away from Facebook....uh I mean the computer for a while. I do want to do this more, so hopefully I'll be back soon!